Me Too, I’m Sorry

There has been an overwhelming number of woman who have just recently shared their stories of abuse, and I'm sure that just like myself, a large number of us have felt the harsh impact of hearing about how many woman have been directly effected by the unhealthy behaviour of the wounded masculine in men.

It hasn't been an easy thing to hear, as it is evident more than ever that many dear sisters, loved ones and family members, all carry a profound amount of shame, guilt and pain from these experiences.

So I'm now taking this opportunity to say that I am sorry. I am sorry to all the women, past lovers, friends and acquaintances, where my own wounded masculine has created further separation and wounding.

There have been a number of occasions in the past, where my wounded inner child has coerced and manipulated it's way towards emotional and sexual validation. More than likely, leaving further wounds and scaring.

Whether it was through narcissistic behaviours that led to emotional manipulation, in the hunt for opening and love, to which was then met with retraction, distance and then not long after disregard.

Or the unconscious physical acts that were driven by goal orientated, self absorbed gratification, that in many times would have led to further trauma and armouring.

I have played my part, I own this, and I hold myself fully accountable for those actions and behaviours, and for that I want to express my deepest apologies and regret.

When I was younger, I too was abused and neglected, I know first hand how this can effect someone. I grew up with a mother who constantly berated and emasculated me. She took the anger and hatred she held towards men out on myself, and every time I began to step into my power and sovereignty, out of fear this squashed out of me.

Like many of the woman out there, she too was abused at a young age.

That pain was then passed onto me, which then made it challenging for me to be able to fully connect and relate with the feminine in a conscious and healthy way,

This played out in a way where I sought out the validation and love I never got, and then ran away from it when it was finally offered, as that terrified me even more than being alone.

I share these edgy parts of my own story, to highlight the importance of facing the fear, shame and guilt that so many of us carry. And the necessity in really feeling it, processing it and then releasing it, so we can then claim back our power, and only then truely break these destructive cycles of unconscious behaviour.

Deep down we all want love, I want love, and I know I want the people around me to experience the love that they deserve.

So I write this post, from a place of raw authentic openness and vulnerability, showing you my all, my shadows and my light.

There isn't a day that goes by where I don't feel the heaviness and the edges of working through my shadows and past conditioning, peeling back the aspects of wounded masculine, inner child and negative ego that no longer serve myself or the world around me.

I do this, so I can show up and be the best version of myself I can possibly be, and so I can then hold the space and reflect the unconditional love, presence and devotion that you / we all deserve.

But, I am not the only one, there are many brothers I walk along side, who are stepping out of their prince, and into their king, moving into the vulnerability of the heart and back into integrity. We are stepping up, we hear you, we see you, and we are doing everything that we can to help make this world a safe and loving place again.

"As we heal together, we rise together"