Initiation, Death & Surrender

12 months ago I made a commitment to myself, my purpose, my growth, and my personal sovereignty.

Like any big change, it began with a large amount of internal resistance. But once I jumped in, it took off with great success, flow and expansion.

The workshops and private sessions that I was offering were bringing in great numbers. And the people I was working with were experiencing profound transformations and awakenings.

Abundance, momentum and opportunity began to open up all around me.

And then not long after, the foundations that created my old life began to collapse. As I reshuffled the world within me, the world around me followed in suite.

And as this reshuffle took place. My friendships, relationships, and living arrangements, all began to fall apart.

I experienced resistance, uncertainty and apprehension in many of my interactions.

“You can’t do that” “That's not safe” “I don’t trust you”

From the community around me, my friends, housemates and even my own blood family.

I felt ridiculed, judged and rejected.

I was in a strong current of change, and it was taking me out into the deep and uncharted waters of the unknown.

And from there, I began to descend into the underworld. Where I began to meet some of my darkest shadows, wounds and childhood traumas.

I began to die.

And then one morning, I awoke from a dream where I had an old medicine woman came to me. She peered into my eyes and whispered “dear child, you’re in the middle of a great initiation.”

As I woke up, I realised that what I was experiencing was making room for everything that I had been calling in.

About a month or so later, I had yet another dream. In this dream, I had another magical woman come to me. I had seen this woman before on social media. She was activated, focused and full of purpose.

I reached out to her through messenger, and expressed how I wanted to open up a space to connect. We organised to meet up at Confest, and once we connected, a familiar spark and recognition began to emerge.

Over the following months, I travelled between Adelaide and Melbourne. And there, we both began to drop into a deep and alchemichal partnership. Sharing in powerful states and experiences, and profound ritual & ceremony.

A current of love began to move between and through us, and we began to catalyse some deep healing and purging within each other's being.

At the very end of last year, I packed up my belongings and moved my life over to Melbourne. Where I am now living with this special woman that I call my partner.

The journey hasn't been easy, (and still isn't). There hasn't been a day that has gone by, where I haven't felt the force of alchemichal change upon my system and life.

I wouldn’t say that I’ve made the full return home yet either, or have I been reborn a new. As most days, I find myself going through some deep watery emotional release. But what I can say, is that I have crossed the nadir, as the gold and gifts are beginning to appear all around me.

I currently find myself surrounded by supportive, loving and very special people. Opportunities for further growth and evolution are presenting themselves each and everyday.

And I am in a loving relationship, where growth and truth are key values for both of us.

If you're reading this, and you ever find yourself going through similar. Whether it's the crumbling of the world around you, or the one within you.

I would encourage you to find your tribe. Those who see, receive and support you and what you have to offer the world.

I would also encourage a deep and respectful relationship to surrender.

When a cycle comes to an end, and all that no longer serves you begins to drop away. Clutching onto the old will only cause great pain & suffering.

And if you can, cry. Cry til you’re empty, and when you done, cry some more. Crying cleanses the soul.

If you seek greatness, I will say this now, you will get worked, squeezed, pushed and tested. Opposing force and resistance, is what stimulates our growth and evolution.

Our greatest power, gifts and freedom, lay in the depths of our darkest shadows and wounding. And the only way to access this, is to go within, and through.

And one of the most important things that have helped me, is courage. Courage to go into the unknown, and courage to face one's shadows, let go of the old. And truly die.

As Jordan Peterson’s says in his recent book - 12 rules for life;

“When a hero goes into the unknown, into unexplored territory. They will deal with a new great challenge and take great risks. In the process, something of them has to die, or be given up, so they can be reborn and meet the challenge. This needs courage, which is something rarely discussed in a psychology class or textbook.”

To all those that played their part in this last chapter of this great cosmic play;

Thank you.

Thank you for catalysing a journey of deep personal healing and realisation.

Thank you for mirroring back to me where I wasn't supporting, trusting or honouring myself.

And thank you for humbling me.

To all the beautiful people and tribe I have around me, thank you for seeing and receiving me. I am not only grateful for your presence in my life, I am also honoured to be sharing in all your magic and gifts.